The phail party

For last two years, on new year eve, Sapota had blast in goa. But this year, due to relocation and lack of inevitable super planning, it was all mess. So to celebrate it on the First and not thirty first, we(Sapota with a friend and HIS girlfriend), went out. The plan was to go to a pub or disc. Because of new year parties, we couldn't find room and have to settle in some "Anchor" restro bar. Notably most pubs and bars in NCR are well decorated, and they charge hefty money for all those interiors, food may or may not worth the money.
But inevitable was to happen, like the last unfortunate night, this would turn into something horrible. So after meals and drinks, Sapota made a curious conversation with Mr DJ, who have no idea of equipment, he was using, but he want to talk about himself and how he had created a chance in world against all pitiful odds in the world. What a self obsession? Sapota felt like a moron asking question to someone, not worth it.
But fun was hiding somewhere in the corner and fun was waiting to spawn out of all the fog, which was surrounding the city. What is worst thing to handle? Sapota would say a drunk chic. Chic was already two pegs down and she wanted to drink more and she was getting wild and uncontrollable.
We were done with this bar, but she was adamant on drinking more, so we inquired in another pub, but things didn't turned out, so we proceeded to dens, however chic was reluctant to go home, she wanted more booze.
Somehow, Sapota reached home in all that i-want-booze war. So as sapota approached the door, he couldn't locate the key. Sapota searched all the pocket, even the hidden one ;). But Mr Fun was waiting to reveal himself. Sapota started cursing his bad memory and carelessness and such useless stuff.
Saptoa has a bad habit of taking stuff out of his pocket and placing them on the table. As sapota remembered, he placed keys and the cellphone on the table, he collected the phone, but forgot the keys. Since Fun was to begin, sapota called the bar and enquired,it felt relieving to know that keys were in restaurant only.
But the question was how will Sapota reach there? So sapota knocked on neighbours door and recited the whole story. So they suggested to break the lock and forget the key, forget the key!!! no way! the keychain is a AC/DC Angus Malcolm Hall of fame keychain bought all the way from HMV stores London, how can someone forget that??? I told them it has many keys. So the dude suggested that I should take the bike, they cannot drive because they are too bloody drunk.
Phew! Sapota had no choice, but to take the bike, Bike was too old and had no lights and brakes were hardly effective. It was around midnight, total foggy, one couldn't see beyond 4 meters and Sapota was driving this bike on road to glory. To make things more interesting, Sapota didn't knew the way either. So sapota was circling around the same stupid turn for quiet some time. Somehow, Sapota went inside the market, where everything was invisible and people were driving their vehicles very slowly using parking lights, even on the main road. Finally, Sapota reached "Anchor", but there was no one there. Sapota looked here and there, there was not even a single mosquito around. Sapota started cursing the devil, but devil smiled on him. After a minute or so, the watchmen came, who was waiting for sapota to come and get the keys, Sapota thanked him a tonne and sapota thanked God and satan, both for this great moment.
Finally sapota returned back, all this driving appeared like a blindfold game. Sapota's hand were all numb. Sapota's eyebrows were soaked in mist of the fog, it appeared as if sapota was in Antarctica, covered thick in snow. Sapota believed that fog has frozen his thoughts, mind was blank and painless. Roads were all barren. Finally sapota was home, he thanked his neighbours and lived happily till next morning.

Saga of an Unfortunate Night

Witnessing one over the other tragedy is no big deal, There is a common Hindi saying, "Upar wala jab deta hai tau chappar faad kar deta hai(Literally if God giveth then he giveth to the extent of tearing your roof{makes no sense in English I know})" and to add "Upar wala jab leta hai tau gand faad kar leta hai(Literally, and if God taketh then he doeth to the extent that it tears your arse apart)" And Sapota certifies that he has not seen any exception to the above two corollaries.
Sapota left the office at about 23:00 hrs in utter fatigue, because he was working since morning 9 and was repeating this since last two days. And when you know that you have to wake up early in morning, you can't take a relaxing sleep. So that was like one hard whip after another. Anyway sapota has never tried this one particular road to return back, so lets try this one. Sapota drove along the dusty shady road thinking that it was a clever shortcut, but then he realized bike is coming to halt, Sapota turned the key in reverse direction, believing that fuel knob is adjusted in wrong direction. But when inevitable is bound to happen, nothing can prevent that. Bike stopped and sapota knew this is the end.... of the fuel(what were you thinking?). Sapota tried hard to start it, but for christ sake, how will a bike start if there is no goddamn fuel in it?
This place is shady, it has a particular faction of people living in here; there is also an extremist political outfit in this place; these days Pune is no more safe; there is an unrest related to hindi-speaking residents and I have 150 Kg bike with me. Sapota cursed all the devils in the hell and started trudging the bike along with him. Sapota was silent and walking as fast as he can, he made one or two unsuccessful attempt to start the bike. He felt suspicious about anyone he met in the way, "yes this could be one, get ready". In the way some civilized old man asked about what happened, I told him about the empty tank, so he re-inquired as to how long will I walk? Sapota started pondering, "home is too far, I just need to cross this messy place and get till cantonment and i will be safe enough". So the walk continued, sapota believed that this will be longest walk of his life, but the bloody phone rang. Sapota picked the phone, since ring tone is loud enough to attract all undue attention, but sapota cut the phone short to avoid speaking much in hindi(my folks don't settle for English). Phew... finally the cantonment, Sapota loves cantonment, it is nostalgic to see them.
Now a historic attempt of trying to extract the last drop of gasoline by tilting the vehicle horizontal, and yes it started, hurrah!!! but this is an unfortunate day, it just drove me out of Cantt, but this place was nearer to civilization and part of busy Highway, So Sapota was relieved as if this is Mt K2. Now what? make a call dude, So did I, "Get me some petrol, I am near Sappers crossing".
This is 00:00 hrs at night and the temperature is less than 15 Celsius and sapota is perspiring heavily. Sapota knew this is going to take them a loads of time to extract petrol out of their bikes and get here, so sapota started to use the greatest invention of last century to his benefits and started making random calls to pass the time. Even after calling all nocturnal animals on the planet entire time couldn't be killed. Every vehicle passing by was glancing at sapota as if he will just throw hand grenades towards the vehicle. Finally the petrol came, Sapota was cursing the bike for its fuel inefficiency and his miscalculation and this time sapota thought he will make clever resolve of not depending on his fuel calculations any more.