Being clueless is one of those thing, which is not very comfortable to me. Still I dwell in all those states of being clueless and more often, if i come out of that state, then I often end up being pointless. According to me bieng pointless is still worse than being clueless. Because of the irrelevance of the things to which, i ponder a lot, i come up with a train of thought, which leads to ultimately nothing. Last Night while travelling back i was listening to some song and when my stop came, i stood up in a haste. The bus was fast and i was unstable, so while coming out of my seat, i felt a certain thrust genrated by pull. Probably some part of my cloth has stuck up somewhere in the seat, but without caring much i moved on. While i was moving back to home, i saw something very shocking and i was freezed for a moment, uttering four letter word in utter fury. I started to think of ways to get it undone, but i knew that can't be undone. In my fantasies i always dream of undoing things by not doing some of the activities in past, but practically speaking, they are just like me lost in the world of comics. Now since I have grown a little maturer and with my engineering senses always on, I thought in terms of what can be done now.
I starting remembering the day when I first went to the showroom to get this pair of Levis Straus and Co. Jeans. It was my first Levis' and that too L518. To all young dudes, the most prized possesion is a rugged pair of Jean. This one was no lesser than anything I can lose. This was a rugged vintage jeans, which has many signs of it being made specially for me. I have been wearing it for around two years and now it has taken a form, which makes it unloseable. I always thought that it is one of those few impregnable things, which i possess. While it stood by my side all the time, my good times and very much in my bad times. It has been to filthiest places to most poshe places, I know of. It was symbol of my being an ardent man, not giving up, but fighting hard to my own beliefs. Jeans are not Jeans they are cults to them selves, some times they represent revolt, sometimes attitude and mostly they represent nothing but arrogance.
Not manier times I think of losses as losses, but as my mistake, which if scrutinized strictly can be rectified. But getting my L518 torn is not such a forgettable loss. I wonder, what had made my such barbaric act of killing my own beloved possesion. They big scar on her face was much more than I can stand. It is left open in such a prominent place that it is mostly unmendable. "What not to do?" is what i am thinking? Life is to move on even if your pair of Levis is killed.