Is it a beginning, a landmark, a milestone or just the deadend.
Am I on a crest or trough of that sinusoidal wave or is it just tangent to that conical section. or Is this my chance to a shot to glory.
What follows next would be labeled as Morbid by few, but I am just seeking the real, I can't ignore it, I am not escapist. I stand against it and give it a fair fight.
The insensible theory of Negativity and Positivism is most amusing revelation of my times. Negativity is much desired VIRTUE(yes and right!), much as needed as positive, we can't shun it.
Their peak was at this age, at this particular point of time. They attained glory, they became immortals, they proved world domination is not just a word, they created a effect known as domination over souls.
My Lady Janis, as they say, sold her soul to Satan for greater good of rock n roll, just at the age of twenty seven. She became the most important lady of rock n roll.
Lord Hendrix single handedly overturned beliefs, he started a new revolution and it peaked at this same instant of time. Coming generations of guitarists were embedded with DNA from Jimi. There are bests and best evers, but they are second to Lord Hendrix.
The greatest song writer of all times had similar fate in the same time, he changd entire culture, he changed the perspective of entire generation. Jim Morrison transformed lyric creation, he brought elegance of poetry to songs.
Not even prodigious Kurt could go beyond that glorious mark. I mean this was the top of the world, where else do u go when you are at Mt Everest. He revived new air in dying genre of rock n roll. He bought the unknown from dark streets to bright sunlight of mainstream. But genius fall under his own weight, World just had too much of him.
All this analogy is futile and redundant to an irrelevant mortal like me. Am I obsessed with that figure or those GODs or the glorified stories of these heroes. Man looks upto people, who walked on the very road before him.
Why would I be any different.
Will I attain those glories?
HAA HAA, i am not even on that road.
Or for that matter, does it matter at all?
I am not sure, what is the degree of anonymity, I wish to attain.
May be I will vanish, just vanish, one fine day as if i never existed.
I don't want anything to be written after that "comma".
I don't want thud, I don't want an epilogue, I dont want a preface.
No bling for me, No jazz.
How will this twenty seven turn out to be so important to me, why was 20, 21 or 25 any less? I donno, prolly, I think I am fancying too much glory, chasing the unreal truth. As the Tommy says "Got a feeling '21, Is going to be a good year".
Is my existence for any good, or I am one hogging those resources on this planet, which someone else deserve much more.
The road to survival, the road of Darwin, Much worse like my entire specie, I suffer from endless flaws.
I am the imperfect one,
I am the one, who walks as if it doesn't matter.
I am the one, who was not the captain of that team,
I am not the one, who dont want their rule book,
I am not the one, who came with flying colors,
I am not the one, who saves face of his family for that utter pomp.
I am NOT.
Can you still embrace me?
Can you still call me your own?
Can you still think, I am The you?
Can you stop quantizing me and stop putting me in that pool?
Can you just let me be?
Can you just love me, one time, just in purity, without any reservations, without any terms?
Can you kiss my forehead for all the defeats, Losses and setbacks?
What do I attain?
What do I loose?
What are my expectations?
I just want to drop this entire arrogance,
I just want to drop my entire vanity,
I just want to drop this insensitivity, this coldness.
More modest, More humble
Enhanced humility, More concern
Will just do fine for me.
They have such large hearts, they just accommodate everything of me.
I just want one of those big hearts.
I donno about permanency,
I choose triviality, just a few little things, which can make me smile and giggle. This vanilla happiness serves the purpose of this very life.
How am I any important than any single entity that ever existed. This entire relative importance attributed to entities, baffles me to no ends.
There aint no expectations, I just dropped them.
I want to live without fear.
Why do they tell me to be afraid? and from my own?
Why do they tell me stories of Negative and positive?
There are no goods or bads in my realm, just the plain things in harmony with everything else. I want to see the entire spectrum, I dont want just black or just white.
Creativity or trite, all are equally criticized by me, how will it all end. Do I know this path, or just keep walking. Twenty seven is no different than anything else......