Wednesday, October 05, 2011

the cynical connection

Sapota do not care about these terms or putting him self in one of these categories, But for sake of knowing new words he do familiarize himself with these terms once in a while.
So the question here is "is sapota cynical?"
Well, not really, he is not there yet.
Does he want to be a cynic?
No not at all, but is it really a choice?

 Here is the thing, from the outset he was never anything closely related to cynical and he tries hard even today not to be one. But as he knows more about the world and as he interact more with the world it grows. Its a sad thing that it cannot be escaped, he will be a bigger cynic in coming future.
he does not want to assume anything about anyone's motive, but finding inherent good in others and pursuing that belief is becoming harder and harder day by day.

The intelligent school of thought says its good to be informed than to be betrayed. But when Sapota looks back at younger people or people who do not know the dirty secrets of the world, they seem to be blissfully in love with the world. Whereas the so called know-it-all are grumpy and skeptical even about the simplest of the  things.
The other day sapota was talking to someone younger to him in age and she talked about oprah, and good philanthropist work of Oprah. And sapota just went on his usual rant on how its about business and be-fooling everyone. He has not researched about the stuff much because he doesn't really care about it. But in popular culture, she is often joked about as being uptight and glamorous. Perhaps, there is a lot of good charity work at the core of all this. But, sapota simply wont be absolutely convinced of anything. And that is when she(the friend) pointed out that sapota is just being cynical. Not that sapota was not aware of this change which slowly taking place, he was unprepared for this and he was a little awakened by it.
We have our own sense of maturity and being responsible and we tend to forget the great things about life. No one is absolutely good or bad, but we base our decision on 1 bad deed of other person and just paint the entire resume with it.
Sapota tries very hard to maintain his "look everything with good in it" perspective and don't question the underlying motives, don't try to read between the lines and don't try to over analyse it. But with one bump on this road, he immediately puts on his cynical goggles on and see everything with question marks in it. Everyone says you can not live life and be successful if you act simply on what you see, you have to dig deep. Whereas digging deep is not necessarily bad thing, but what are we looking for? And in honesty, with the cynic glasses sapota doesn't look for treasures, he looks for skeletons.
Is this behaviour unjustified, is this just overdoing it? well, no. Sapota have seen a lot of so called beliefs shred to pieces, the people who appeared to be saints turned out be devils. The falseness of this world is so monstrous that until unless you are deep rooted with your firm beliefs, you will be absorbed. You have to weigh everything and perform a quality check on it.
To sapota cynicism is merely a word and he wants it to remain that way, if it touches him, he will be unhappy. What will it bring to him? supposedly it can be a good companion for survival, but it will make him miserable. It will feed you, but you will remain unsatiated.