Twenty Seven

Why is this such an important year?
Is it a beginning, a landmark, a milestone or just the deadend.
Am I on a crest or trough of that sinusoidal wave or is it just tangent to that conical section. or Is this my chance to a shot to glory.
What follows next would be labeled as Morbid by few, but I am just seeking the real, I can't ignore it, I am not escapist. I stand against it and give it a fair fight.
The insensible theory of Negativity and Positivism is most amusing revelation of my times. Negativity is much desired VIRTUE(yes and right!), much as needed as positive, we can't shun it.

Their peak was at this age, at this particular point of time. They attained glory, they became immortals, they proved world domination is not just a word, they created a effect known as domination over souls.
My Lady Janis, as they say, sold her soul to Satan for greater good of rock n roll, just at the age of twenty seven. She became the most important lady of rock n roll.
Lord Hendrix single handedly overturned beliefs, he started a new revolution and it peaked at this same instant of time. Coming generations of guitarists were embedded with DNA from Jimi. There are bests and best evers, but they are second to Lord Hendrix.
The greatest song writer of all times had similar fate in the same time, he changd entire culture, he changed the perspective of entire generation. Jim Morrison transformed lyric creation, he brought elegance of poetry to songs.
Not even prodigious Kurt could go beyond that glorious mark. I mean this was the top of the world, where else do u go when you are at Mt Everest. He revived new air in dying genre of rock n roll. He bought the unknown from dark streets to bright sunlight of mainstream. But genius fall under his own weight, World just had too much of him.

All this analogy is futile and redundant to an irrelevant mortal like me. Am I obsessed with that figure or those GODs or the glorified stories of these heroes. Man looks upto people, who walked on the very road before him.
Why would I be any different.
Will I attain those glories?
HAA HAA, i am not even on that road.
Or for that matter, does it matter at all?
I am not sure, what is the degree of anonymity, I wish to attain.
May be I will vanish, just vanish, one fine day as if i never existed.
I don't want anything to be written after that "comma".
I don't want thud, I don't want an epilogue, I dont want a preface.
No bling for me, No jazz.

How will this twenty seven turn out to be so important to me, why was 20, 21 or 25 any less? I donno, prolly, I think I am fancying too much glory, chasing the unreal truth. As the Tommy says "Got a feeling '21, Is going to be a good year".

Is my existence for any good, or I am one hogging those resources on this planet, which someone else deserve much more.
The road to survival, the road of Darwin, Much worse like my entire specie, I suffer from endless flaws.
I am the imperfect one,
I am the one, who walks as if it doesn't matter.
I am the one, who was not the captain of that team,
I am not the one, who dont want their rule book,
I am not the one, who came with flying colors,
I am not the one, who saves face of his family for that utter pomp.
I am NOT.

Can you still embrace me?
Can you still call me your own?
Can you still think, I am The you?
Can you stop quantizing me and stop putting me in that pool?
Can you just let me be?
Can you just love me, one time, just in purity, without any reservations, without any terms?
Can you kiss my forehead for all the defeats, Losses and setbacks?

What do I attain?
What do I loose?
What matters?
What are my expectations?

I just want to drop this entire arrogance,
I just want to drop my entire vanity,
I just want to drop this insensitivity, this coldness.

More modest, More humble
Enhanced humility, More concern
Will just do fine for me.

They have such large hearts, they just accommodate everything of me.
I just want one of those big hearts.

I donno about permanency,
I choose triviality, just a few little things, which can make me smile and giggle. This vanilla happiness serves the purpose of this very life.

How am I any important than any single entity that ever existed. This entire relative importance attributed to entities, baffles me to no ends.

There aint no expectations, I just dropped them.
I want to live without fear.
Why do they tell me to be afraid? and from my own?
Why do they tell me stories of Negative and positive?

There are no goods or bads in my realm, just the plain things in harmony with everything else. I want to see the entire spectrum, I dont want just black or just white.

Creativity or trite, all are equally criticized by me, how will it all end. Do I know this path, or just keep walking. Twenty seven is no different than anything else......

wots goin on!

The question remain unanswered, i ask it again and again, i just ask it to my self.
I am walking right in the same direction, no attention, no heed is needed. This is where i am holding this steel spoon, light does not hit properly, i can see that bread being turned into a shape of funnel and this yellow color gravy is poured. hands are turning and moving, making the shape and pouring the gravy. I am standing between some of these ladies, two of them wear black swim suits, her dad is sitting in visitors gallery, i know he is an army officer. I want to make sure i atleast finish 100 meters in single go, but then why am not get butterfly perfect. Oh she has got perfect eyes, I like it that way. I will delay all my events, so that I will get late, may be i will get a glimpse of her. The paper is full of all useless crap, why do i care if Arun shourie joins Al Qaida. She is not coming out, fuck it, who cares. I am too civilized, i carry that thought around. Damn, what is this pattern of eating corn flakes everyday, why doesn't jam and bread appeal me anymore. They think these loose long hairs, they want to laugh, i dont care, i dont belong here. I want to screammmmmmm............

Its been delayed since a long time, i need to finish this damn driver, oh comon, u need to dig filesystems. Oh, i can sleep any time, but what am I doing? I can't just let things go. Holy shit, this room sucks, damn it. The decision to move to other place, i can't just take it. Oh it hurts, the pain, the oppression, my phone, android its GONEEEEEEE!!!!. Why am i thinking about it? do I want to feel sorry for myself. Damn it, this is not rational or logical. He doesn't need to know everything, he wont fucking understand it. Lemmy is god! I want to see Lemmy live, how fucking, how?

Damn those drums, i can keep talking on all quintessential bullshit in the world. But does all that matter, oh this question hurts, the question of existence. oh please dont call, i dont want to attend your damn call, i hate ur mechanical expressions. stay the hell away from me. oh at times u need to push ur self mechanically, just the way it is. They dont care, they invade ur private space, they shove ur elbow, they are too ignorant, they are in too much oblivion. What is all that "I" stuff, too much of pomp, too much chagrin.

Why i have to run for this shit all the time, why doesn't the damn INTERNET work, oh this ember light, it will start blinking i hate it, cant it get stable. Holy shit, they think they know westerns, this aint worth talkin about it either, Gupta, he thinks Clint flicks are better than John waynes, no way, But is my evaluation good enough, prolly i check out rotten. i just want to listen this one "right round right round, when you go down. this dude is ewww....ugly, right round, right when u go down.

The escapist, they are.

What would make you say things, which are totally irrelevant to life. You are being asked if your life is in shambles and you tend to discuss the new rock n roll album, you purchased. The tiger(oh yes, I call him tiger) always blame his shirts and clothes for all the fight he does in the world. He says I wont wear this shirt, because every time i wear this I fight with people, he wont admit the fact, that its in his nature to be quarrelsome, and on the top of it he is superstitious.

Why on the earth would people blame the poor cat if some mishap happens. Isn't your life already miserable enough? you are not moving a single straw and expecting all the lacklustre to transform into a brilliant shiny beacon of life.

All the damn time, for all your losses, you end up believing that its gods will. I think god is a busy creature, he just makes the instrument for life and makes free will, what you do with it is purely your thing, he wont interfere. Well, you get result of what you do, but how does your fate come into picture, if you fail in exam?

This entire concept of destiny is pure unadulterated case of some big marketing hoax or some work of propaganda. The strong ruler or the party in power will emphasis on everything that will keep subjects to neglect facts and indulge in their own lives and overlook the very reason that these weak creatures are driven by someone else.

Why do u think god punishes only those sinners, who happen to be poor or weak, for same kind of deed, the rich and powerful enjoy all the cream in the world. Well it has been inculcated in our brains, all those beliefs, we can't question them in the lack of evidence and worse enough, we face such a strong resistance. Its really is incomprehensible, where there is such a strong lobby for such biased and prejudiced beliefs. Why are they selling unreasonable bullshit for centuries? Even they are not sure of what they are talking, but every one pretends otherwise.

Its right in front of your eyes? its a loss, its a phenomenon, bloody accept it. Why are you trying so hard not to believe it, or are you trying to enforce some sort of delay, that things will get any better. Unfortunately things get better, when you work for their betterment. Yes, there are factors, which are not governed by us and factors, we can't control. But what about the things, which we can do? Have we tried enough or we were so busy procrastinating about stuff we don't control that time flew and we were flying in our fancy world escaping reality.

Its for us to do, who else will do it, why we tend to postpone it, why are we not on it and finish it off, what is a better time than this. We are not in war sire! Its our every day work, so still what makes us avoid it? Alright, you don't like it, so then change it, there are always way of mending things, its all how badly you want to change it.
They don't understand it, they don't control it, but they fancy it, but what we can change is what we should be up to.

beyond horizon: visit to Cafe Pink floyd

So sapota after attending last marriage of circa 2008, made his way to Pushkar. Pushkar is globally famed for its annual animal fair. Its not much of animal fair anymore, its a traditional and cultural Rajasthani festival.
Sapota's arrival with his folks at this place was not much of bang bang. We just landed here in early noon without making any fuss.

From Surender's wedding

First spot we hit was pushkar ghat, which is on the bank of pushkar lake, which is a beautiful lake in this dry land, situated between Aravali ranges. Some pandas were bothering us, but as you guys know sapota is punda buster, so no one could even get near him.

From Surender's wedding

The street from lake to temple was surrounded by shops of stuff, only tourists would buy, traditional clothing, antic jeweleries, decoration items, artifacts, chandeliers, Weapons and things like that. Brahma temple was situated at little higher elevation, so we have to climb over the steps to finally meet our god. The trivia about this place is that, this is probably the only Brahma temple. The temple had ancient architecture, many beautiful idols and copies of Vedas.

From Surender's wedding

So after paying our homages to deities, we dispersed for shopping. Sapota bought saffron kurta(long top), skirts, bangles, chunni(Indian attire for girls) and bags for sapota's sister. As we roam around the market, there were Giant wheels and merry go rounds. The most fascinating thing was Weapon shop, those shops have all the damn hand weapons you can imagine.

From Surender's wedding

Next adventure was a camel ride, Sapota must admit camels are the real cool dudes, I mean they don't give a fuck. The ride was rather an awkward one, but for a first timer, its an experience in itself.

From Surender's wedding

Next destination we proceeded towards was Cafe Pink Floyd, Sapota had read about this cafe in rock street journal. So it was earnest desire of sapota to visit this 'holy' place. There were boards and wall painting providing direction toward cafe pink Floyd. The cafe is located in a rather congested place. The owner had converted his mansion into this cafe, which is symbolism of how rock n roll can change lives. Grand entrance had board has art work from the movie, "the wall".

rom Surender's wedding

As you enter inside you can see there are rooms with with full of art work from all pink Floyd album. Each room named after one album, then there were tents and hammock and other such stuff all arranged in a manner reminding some art work from Floyd albums. As you climb even further, next level has same art work and relics. Terrace again has art work from legendary "The wall" red and black hammer. Entire environment of this cafe is floydized. From top you can see view of full pushkar city. The terrace is just beautiful with small garden on it and the sitting arrangement is just awesome, rugs and shacks all around. different kind of chairs and umbrellas.

From Surender's wedding

We ordered some snacks, and booze, mind it booze is all illegal here, so you get it under the table. Food was good, had good variety and served well. As I talked to owner of this cafe, he told me, how much he loves floyds and how this entire thing is such a passion for him. He however expressed his regrets of not able to attend Roger Water concert, as he is so busy with cafe. Sapota was glad to see this destination. He told me, at night the music goes all loud and psychedelic. We really didn't have time to stay at night.

From Surender's wedding

Wish I could be there for long, our journey had to end somewhere, so we set fourth to Jaipur.

Flight 666: An encore!

Its not everyday that Bustards like me get lucky, but beast has always been nice to me. So I went to PVR to see this documentary called as Flight 666. There were only 10-15 people in whole theatre. This documentary primarily covers IRON MAIDENS recent tour "somewhere back in time", which as compared to their previous world tour "World Slavery" is much bigger. Maiden were carrying entire maiden troupe, entire equipment, entire crew in the Boeing 757, the service is called ED FORCE ONE and the flight.... sukkahs... its Flight 666!!!

This documentary is directed by Sam dunn, who previously directed a film on heavy metal. He himself is a big maiden fan. Directing your fav band for a movie, nothing can be better.

Its an honour and a privileged that Maiden started this Tour from India, Bombay and I saw that concert LIVE!!! Bruce talks about crazy Indian fans and how spicy Indian food tossed Steve's digestion. From India they headed to Malaysia and then to Japan. Japan is well known for its hospitality, so maiden crew were overwhelmed with all showering of love and teenage girl running into the band. Not much population of Japan understands English but "Fuck what", Maiden Fans remains undivided even after linguistic barriers. So while they were showing Indian part of movie, they played "Aces high", atleast 6-10 people in theatre were singing.
From Japan they headed to Australia, where they played at Sidney, Melbourne, Perth and Brisbane! Holy eddie! 4 cities in a single country? Lucky bustards Ozies! And to my surprise all stadiums were full to capacity, what a killer fan following.. And to name a few, Adrian played tennis with Pat Cash, Oz tennis champion, who is a maiden fan too!

The Next stop from here was in US, Los Angeles. Needless to say, crowd response was amazing, people in their 40s who were listening to maiden for decades were here to attend the concert! Maidens have fans like Tom morello(RATM), who idolizes Steve Harris and then Nico Macbrain has inspire none other than Lars Ulirich(you fucking donno which band, Loser!). There were visitors like Kerry king and Ronnie James dio, all coming to see Maiden.

In between Maiden members were discussing about how Maiden members are part of one splendid family. Steve goes gaga about meticulousness of Adrian about sound and his guitaring. In between Steve's daughter three of them(*very hot* Drool stuff!!!) were making comment on how reserve daddy is?
Then the next Lag of Journey was Mexico. Bruce tells that real journey begins now, since the crowd of Latin and southern America is totally wild. I remember Rock in Rio Concert, the turn out for that concert in 1985 was around 300,000. In Brasilia, Maidens are worshipped like gods. So in Mexico it was a futbol stadium all ram packed. Bruce came wearing sombrero made by some fan especially for Maidens. Swarms of crazy fan making famous Mexican wave, singing in unison. Holy Eddie, I wish I was there.
Next stop was Costa Rica. I must say it was all teary affair in Costa rica. Maiden fans were on roads and streets and everywhere, waiting since days to get a glimpse of the lords. They were crazily mobbing around the hotel. By the end of concert there were dudes and chics crying, trust me, post gig depression can kill!
Next stop was Colombia, Bagota. On political grounds the security of this place was damn tight, Cops on horses patrolling everywhere. Fans were waiting in camps on the sides of roads for more than a week. Couple of them were complaining about lack of food and water due to security issues, but still they have swarmed the place like there will never be a next time. Maiden were floored with such a reception. What could be the the hieght of fanboism, there was a guy in coloumbia, who preaches Maiden writings in a church dedicated to maiden, he has 100+ maiden tattoos and calls himself Father Iron maiden!

so Maiden continued their onslaught in Brasilia, where they played futbol match with some local team. They performed at Sao paulo for an amazing crowd in a futbol stadium with many players wearing national team jersey on stage with Bruce.

Next stop was Buenes Aires, Argentina, from where they headed next to Santiago, Chile. Previously in Chile, Maiden were banned for spreading anti-Christ Faith. Harris commented that it was one of the totally misunderstood part. but, now after more than a decade, they are welcomed by frenzied mob of maiden devotees, who were on roads from Airport to Hotel room.
Next, the journey continued to New Jersey, US. The band member talks about how Steve harris is the backbone of Iron Maiden. Right from lyrics to finalization of songs, he is everywhere. I would say, he is one of the most disciplined musician around, his hard sticking to the schedule attitude has brought Iron maiden to this pinnacle.
So they had a crew song, "you are shit and you know you are", which they sang all time, whenever the plane took off for next journey(LOL!). There were couple of hot stewardess in the plane, who were having great time with band. The Last stop of this Journey was Toronto, Canada. Maidens were famous in Canada, much before it was famous in US. So Band is particularly fond of this place. The documentary ends with "Hallowed be thy name", I guess not a single soul in theatre can stop itself from howling and banging its head!
I was totally Maidenized, my addiction requires a regular dose of metal and this was it. Infact it was a really heavy shot of the toxin, which has mixed with blood so thoroughly that it will stay there until I pay my visit to lords, yet again.
\m/ up the irons!

The last marriage of the year

So no more fancy title name, but this marriage was last one in the year 2008. Sapota was utterly happy as this was marriage of one of the bestest chum. Sapota bought a fine suit, for the first time, just for this marriage along with Fatal Jutis and to make matter more sinister, Sapota wore 5 colored Jaisalmeri Turban.


One folk bought his swift, so we had fine time moving around. In the very evening of our arrival, we had grand booze party. Sapota has promised to dance his Ar$e off on this occasion. So Sapota jumped to arena and danced, all sorts of ridiculous funny dance moves, but who cares, it was all fun. Since evening 8 till late midnight the dance followed. The source of music was utterly ridiculous, but we had one song



Played for umpteen times and Mustandas were getting more and more wild with the dance.
Then Sapota is know for his "hain hain" dance, which he did religiously well.


One fella jumped to the stagnant rain water and then they splashed it all over, it was bloody funny! Then the dance continued in all colors and forms.
Next day we left with "barat" and reached Nasirabaad late in evening. Following our arrival we had great snack party and then they we were redirected to Corners for some booze.
After booze and all we danced with barat party with so called "Brass Band", now to locate other fellas, we lost the way and were wandering around! It became chaotic for a couple of minutes.
Later we(mustandas) and Barat reunited and then again dancing followed. The invitees in this marriage were quite imminent people some one like Governor of a state, So marriage was grand and quiet sober.
There were chitchats and clicking and dining all going on quietly. Later it was all very chilly, so we retired after this. But one of the sapota's gangy(yeah i invented it rite now!) was keen on seeing rituals. So at 2 am, we went to brides place to see nuptial rituals. A big gang of chics were sitting and giggling as priest recites rituals.

Surender's wedding

Sapota on the other hand was preaching some kids and cutting Lame jokes to pass time. Finally we came back and retired and next day proceeded to Puskar...

The phail party

For last two years, on new year eve, Sapota had blast in goa. But this year, due to relocation and lack of inevitable super planning, it was all mess. So to celebrate it on the First and not thirty first, we(Sapota with a friend and HIS girlfriend), went out. The plan was to go to a pub or disc. Because of new year parties, we couldn't find room and have to settle in some "Anchor" restro bar. Notably most pubs and bars in NCR are well decorated, and they charge hefty money for all those interiors, food may or may not worth the money.
But inevitable was to happen, like the last unfortunate night, this would turn into something horrible. So after meals and drinks, Sapota made a curious conversation with Mr DJ, who have no idea of equipment, he was using, but he want to talk about himself and how he had created a chance in world against all pitiful odds in the world. What a self obsession? Sapota felt like a moron asking question to someone, not worth it.
But fun was hiding somewhere in the corner and fun was waiting to spawn out of all the fog, which was surrounding the city. What is worst thing to handle? Sapota would say a drunk chic. Chic was already two pegs down and she wanted to drink more and she was getting wild and uncontrollable.
We were done with this bar, but she was adamant on drinking more, so we inquired in another pub, but things didn't turned out, so we proceeded to dens, however chic was reluctant to go home, she wanted more booze.
Somehow, Sapota reached home in all that i-want-booze war. So as sapota approached the door, he couldn't locate the key. Sapota searched all the pocket, even the hidden one ;). But Mr Fun was waiting to reveal himself. Sapota started cursing his bad memory and carelessness and such useless stuff.
Saptoa has a bad habit of taking stuff out of his pocket and placing them on the table. As sapota remembered, he placed keys and the cellphone on the table, he collected the phone, but forgot the keys. Since Fun was to begin, sapota called the bar and enquired,it felt relieving to know that keys were in restaurant only.
But the question was how will Sapota reach there? So sapota knocked on neighbours door and recited the whole story. So they suggested to break the lock and forget the key, forget the key!!! no way! the keychain is a AC/DC Angus Malcolm Hall of fame keychain bought all the way from HMV stores London, how can someone forget that??? I told them it has many keys. So the dude suggested that I should take the bike, they cannot drive because they are too bloody drunk.
Phew! Sapota had no choice, but to take the bike, Bike was too old and had no lights and brakes were hardly effective. It was around midnight, total foggy, one couldn't see beyond 4 meters and Sapota was driving this bike on road to glory. To make things more interesting, Sapota didn't knew the way either. So sapota was circling around the same stupid turn for quiet some time. Somehow, Sapota went inside the market, where everything was invisible and people were driving their vehicles very slowly using parking lights, even on the main road. Finally, Sapota reached "Anchor", but there was no one there. Sapota looked here and there, there was not even a single mosquito around. Sapota started cursing the devil, but devil smiled on him. After a minute or so, the watchmen came, who was waiting for sapota to come and get the keys, Sapota thanked him a tonne and sapota thanked God and satan, both for this great moment.
Finally sapota returned back, all this driving appeared like a blindfold game. Sapota's hand were all numb. Sapota's eyebrows were soaked in mist of the fog, it appeared as if sapota was in Antarctica, covered thick in snow. Sapota believed that fog has frozen his thoughts, mind was blank and painless. Roads were all barren. Finally sapota was home, he thanked his neighbours and lived happily till next morning.

Sapota's adventure to Baburam paranthe wala

Sapota is a victim of inquisitiveness and sapota head starts on any adventure to satisfy his appetite for information. As soon as there was a power cut, sapota packed himself up and set forth to Chandani chowk. So as bus reached Lal Quila(Red Fort), Sapota tried to recollect the landmarks in the place, with small attempt sapota managed to reach Paranthe wali gali(Parantha Street.). This street was a ubiquitous narrow Indian street, nothing great about it, but it is quiet famous, and a must go for any Parantha lover. Well, Parantha is an Indian bread, which may be stuffed with some ingredients and is pan fried with oil or butter.
A babe with her not-so-hot mom was walking ahead of sapota, sapota followed her till she decided to settle in a dhaba(Road side Indian restaurant), but sapota has eternal itch to explore, so sapota decided to go till the end of the street. But, street was quite small, barely 200-250 meters, there were around 5-6 shops open at that time. The aroma of hot milk and other sweets were all around the street, sapota returned back to the shop where the babe sat, but but but... the shop has no place and it was all hot and steamy there. Defeated by the chance, sapota went to another shop, this one was called "Babu ram paranthe wale", this was clean and airy and not steamy, Sapota loved it and went inside. Now there is always a chance that you may not get the most popular shop in such place, but next shop is almost as good. So sapota ordered almond parantha, which took some time to get there. Most people who were sitting in dhaba seems to have came here, specially to have parantha, there were two families and couple of dudes, but no chic :(.


So sapota was served with plate full of red "sweet and sour" chutney(sort of sauce) made up of dried ginger(indian name: saunthh) then coriander leaf chutney, three vegetables one was gravy potato with makkhane(I donno what is its name in queen's English!), other one was pumpkin and last one mixed thick gravy potato(typically served in Hindu weddings) and couple of vinegar soaked vegetables. Along with this sapota ordered mango drink:Slice and Curd('course, no parantha without curd!). Finally the great Almond parantha arrived, but it arrived without much of a prelude(as in drum roll or guns firing; for the effect 'course!). Parantha was smaller than small pan pizza, deep fried and sliced in four, it was filled with almond stuffing. Sapota must say that small for its price, but too big for its taste, it was yummier than most paranthas sapota had. Sapota ordered another parantha this one was called kurchan parantha. Kurchan is typically the cream which sticks to the large pan, which is used to boil milk, this hardened cream is seperated from the utensil using sharp spoon or knife.


Sapota is floored with this parantha, it was crispy from outside and utterly soft inside because of milk cream and it tasted like having pooris(deep fried Indian bread) with rabri(milk boiled till it reduces its content by 3/4th). The third parantha which sapota ordered was layered paranta, This one again exceeded the expectation of sapota, it was very very crispy and with curd, it tasted like the second best thing in world. Sapota was so bloody satisfied with entire experience. This entire delicious food was for INR 125 only!!! Sapota took some pictures for you guys. Now to fulfill his religious endeavors sapota moved towards Gurudwara Sheesh Ganj Sahib.

Blearing ebonies and ivories

The segment has blurred,
there is not even a hole
Moralities diminishes
sins are virtues
virtues no longer matter
lines do not remain,
paths do not exist.
just invisible something
Something indistinct.

Where are the rules?
who are those fools.
They obey,
We uprise.
They comply,
we surprise.

We fail to know,
They say its a matter of fact.
What are those, accepted ways?
There is no clairvoyance,
pondering, still they know.
Foundering in the swamp
darkness becomes light.
Shine gets blurred
there are no ivories, there are no ebonies.
They are mere repercussion of shallow woods.
indistinction is so apparent,
exhibits appear obfuscated.

slapped, echoes of agitation
loved, thuds of serenity.
pale and right,
Wrong and bright,
They do the exit.
An applause for the grave
A grief over the triumph.
guffawing pleasantly
and sobbing over the milk.
But there is no cat,
Just the cow.
who dun it, who dun it.
Spare the one, he ain't.

hypocrite,the convinced ones
chauvinists,the philanthropist,
they stand in the way,
They make the hay,
while some suffer,
those who differ.
the ways to adhere
no bindings to tether.

No reality, No obscurity,
since the dissipating veracity holds
or may be unholds,
It will blur, it has to.

The Salvation: Somewhere back in time.

I have never witnessed so many mood swings in single day or it looked like a single day from 13th of feb to 17th of feb. I had witnessed pre-gig anxiety and then I am having post-gig depression, they ain't just terms, I can really feel them . There are no real words, I know of, which can describe this state of mind, the level of entropy is highest, I am questioning every action of mine, the futility of everything is so apparent. I am incoherent and clueless, feeling as if I am killed. I am unsatisfied, cold and hungry for more.
This is damn third time, I am seeing IRON MAIDEN live, but I don't feel that I had enough. First time they played a good number of songs; Second time, they played 16 killer songs and they annihilated anything and everything that was under the influence of that thing called "IRON MAIDEN". I thought then, it was the best, I ever had. But this time, they were more murderous and to add to it there was an AWE FUCKING SOME crowd of Banglore. Fuck, I love the metal crowd of b'lore so much , I wish I could carry them along with me everywhere.
Unlike B'bay, there were no shitty-bang-bangers in the crowd of b'lore, so this time I have nothing to curse. This time, I have seen devotion at one of its best.

I will no more detail on stupid journey, I would rather focus on things that really matter in this mindset. So, the previous evening, I went to styx. This time late night, and the crowd was fucking amazing. Ladies and gentlemen let me declare a proclamation in the history of Indian metal, "styx is the best metal pub in country, unexceptionally". I happen to met two Sri-Lankan guys, who wanted me to join their band, but I am untalented so I can't contribute to their music, but I told them that I will support them as a fan. So when in styx, you ought to pay homage to gods, how? its simple, Scream! sing! headbang! or simply go round and round crazily!!! They were playing things like Amon Amarth, Satyricon, Kreator and when they played Sepultura's territory, FUCK FUCK FUCK, every single soul was headbanging, the energy level had tripled, It can't get any more insane. Every maiden track played in Styx was preparing a ground for the Mayhem, that is to take place the next day in palace grounds.

Third visit to palace ground, I still had those butterflies in my stomach. I sometimes act so weird, I thought what if we lose the tickets? that was so paranoid. I felt relieved once we entered inside. The setup was same as it was during Megadeth concert, except for the force one machine, which I really was not interested in seeing.
As we entered some band was playing, probably synaps or kryptos, I didn't bother much to notice them, because I was in a different kind of trance. While some folks were busy getting booze, I was looking around for fellow devotees and music merchandise. We finally entered the gig area, on the smaller stage De profundis, one of the band from UK were playing. The band was pretty tight and they put on the good show. I was not very conversant with their music, but it had elements of symphonic black metal and thrash. Vocalist and drummer, were two of my favourite members. We went out again and had some chit chat and looking around for jaw drooping beauties, with fags in their hands. Now Ms Lauren Harris was performing, I don't want to curse her, but she should not play in Metal concert. I know she is an honest artist, but with so many lunches on her daddy's pocket, she should stand on her own, now. We didn't bother to hear her anyway. Next in line was Ashley and the silver bug from Italia. I have a piece of advice for them, instead of focusing on those skinny dresses and all those sensual theatrics, I would have liked, if, they have put on some good music. Mr. Ashley, all that sensual dance was not quite apt, I mean you don't have that level, where u can do whatever you want, Sorry! but, you are not Rammstein.
Parakrima performed next, they were tight as ever, they performed pretty well minus that violin thingy,which i don't like, appears more like a gimmick. Anyway Nitin malik is kind of frontman I love most, his vocals resembles to Bon scott and he is full of humility. He is a popular man in rock circles in India, but still he chants "maiden" with same enthusiasm as any metal head would do. Now crowds were getting really really impatient, so Parakrima performed just one more single and they left with the chants, Crowd was roaring with "MAIDEN" "MAIDEN" , every'damn'where.
The anxiety was growing on me, as the stage and setup is getting ready, Maiden tend to take their own time, which drives me crazy. I can't, I really can't wait. While I was waiting for the ground lights to go off, those DNA folks played some lame tricks by playing some songs with full sound.
Finally they lifted the veils and the intro played, Jesus Christ! the all new intro with "Transylvania", the roars went loud, louder and loudest. Everyone knew, what is coming. As soon it stopped, the next throat slicer came down, "Aces high", Drums shaped as before, Nico Macbrain were beating snares violently, but with out any signs of effort. Bruce came running wearing same pants with those small patches, he wore in live after death. "Rolling, turning, diving, going in again Run, live to fly, fly to live, do or die", I almost felt like somebody has stopped all oxygen. Even before I can "phew", they started next riff, Dave Murray was on the killing spree, the same mild smile, the brutality was evident.... I screamed my lungs out "2 minutes to midnight The hands that threaten doom". I love Bruce, when he asks for 'SCREAM FOR ME BANGLO', the decibel level reached the new high, Bruce goes again SCREAM FOR ME BANGLO, this time previous record is broken. I had never seen Adrian with two pronged guitar, I was in surprise, what is to came, and I now seek apologies to my lord Maidens for being hazy with this track due to my own preconceived assumptions. They played wrathchild,which I was not able to participate, due to fatigue and lack of cognizance. Oh holy devil, I felt like such a sinner. Bruce started talking now, making some witty remarks. He told crowd that they were about to bring pyro techniques, to which crowd responded madly, then he told Indian laws doesn't allow that, I was like "fuck the bloody authorities". Next came the surprise number in form of "Children of the damned" It was hurled across me with such a force that I never came out of it. Next leads were started by Janick Gers, I had heard this one live once before, but in Paul Di'ano concert, who originally sang phantom of the opera. I banged my head left-right, up-down round and round, each note was hitting my nerves, I had a certain numbness when that triple lead by Dave, Janick and Adrian hit me.
The red uniform and fluttering of Union Jack and the back ground of The trooper, "You'll take my life but i'll take yours too". Bruce threw Union jack, this time two of them one after the other, crowd howled again. As if we didn't had enough, Bruce appeared in Nordic mask, the background changed to Eddie faced Sphinx. Power slave, whose lyrics are really hard to grab, but crowd thoroughly enjoyed. Steve Harris was shooting with his guitars, impact of bullets from his guns were right on the chest, I bowed down to him in order to express my gratitude for all that he has accomplished as the band leader and a great musician.
Then Bruce started talking about Nature and human, I fucking knew its time for "the rime of ancient Mariner", he told us to go and get some Samosas and break this is going to be a long 13 minutes song, I fucking said "NO, Bruce we are bloody here just for you". So as he says Samuel Coleridge's Rime of ancient mariner, there was echo back from my throat. The background changed to the fallen ship, Bruce appeared with black winged dress. 13 greatest minutes of my life, euphoria, ecstasy, second fucking time, I am listening one of the greatest songs of all times. "water water water everywhere, nor a drop to drink". God forbid the time to move on, I want to stay here, forever.
Before next track crowd were chanting "maiden" "maiden" so loud for almost 2 minutes, Bruce has to sit down and wait and when he asked "is that all", I almost said, "No", "maiden" "maiden" all again. He now talks about his love for India and he tell about the interview he was to give on "why people love Iron Maiden so much in India?", I wish I could have told him that its not jut love, but people worship Iron Maidens here.
So this time you better run for your life, run to the hills because white man has come across the sea and conquered our hearts.... This time Dave was playing with guitar around his body and smiling as ever.
There were no overture, there were no introduction, the first cymbal beat, fuck, Dave on spree again, The hand goes in the air, Maidens have that magic, "ho ho ho ho", this time crowd sings in chorus, entire Palace ground was singing. As the first lead approaches, the crowd goes completely nuts, every starts jumping, everyone is shifted 4-5 feet from their places. Bruce sings "Fear of the dark" and gives that hysteric laughter, Steve Harris is jumping and running here and there with his guitar. The crowd goes again "ho ho ho ho ho", everyone sings "fear of the dark". When the song reached its end, I was dumbstruck in utter awe. I felt like crying. Even before I could have controlled my self, there came the same chime, the same drum, the same lead by Dave, FUCK! FUCK!! FUCK!!!, the crowd started spreading itself for the moshing and head banging. It was getting more and more wilder, Everyone was singing in unison "I am waiting in my cold cell, when the bell begins to chime", when Bruce gave that last scream, everyone was jumping and headbanging, I was not expecting that kind of mayhem. I kept banging my head until I had a sudden jerk in my head, which looked like a pulled muscle, I was horrified, I wont be able to headbang any more. But I collected my self back and went on. For the first time I have ever seen Dave Murray splitting his legs while playing guitar. The song left me sore, my neck in utter pain, my head was blasting with shooting pain.
For next song "Iron maiden", I couldn't do much of those rituals, I was standing watching Janick gers doing that Angus young type duck walk, which looked a little funny on him. "See the blood flow watching it shed up above my head. Iron Maiden wants you for dead"; Come and get me lords, I am all yours.
Bruce started thanking and saying we love you all, I felt lightening-struck, I said "that's it???". The crowd encored Louder and Louder "more!" "more!!", "Maiden" "Maiden", restlessness was growing on me.
They returned back with the "number of the beast", Adrian smith went on rampage with leads and then Janick gers were displaying all sorts of theatrics with guitar; throwing it up in air, then circling around with guitar very very violently. "666" was in air, I can feel that number around. The song finished with some smoke kind of thing coming out from the some vents in the stage, that looked so damn amazing. The next number was "The evil that man do", to which crowd responded so damn well. 12 feet live EDDIE was walking on the stage, and he was hitting the guitar of Janick gers, then he was shooting Steve with his gun and while leaving he was jerking off, HAA HAA!!! For the last song, I again went blank, because of same stupid dumb reason, I felt like a sinner, again, they played "sanctuary", which I have heard only very few times. The song was stopped in between and Bruce started talking about the Iron maiden movie "Flight 666", he said that there is going to be loads of India in that movie. then the song resumed. As the song stopped they started thanking and all and they said they will come again next year with all new studio album. Then Janick pretended to throw the guitar towards audience, which he never did, lol. I felt like my pulses has stopped, how come they can leave so early??? I wanted more, there was huge bloodlust. My entire body felt so heavy when I was moving my steps out towards exit, I knew, they wont come back. I felt like drained and left in wilderness, all dry and alone, oh Gawd! they should have played atleast two more songs. But I later realized that they have played almost same number of songs, but my appetite has grown too much for metal. I donno how to finish this write-up, I am so dazed right now, All I can say "UP the IRONS", thou are my lord, I thank thee for all the great music thy hath created(RESPECT \m/)

Two of them...

Sapota finishing an old assignment is not a trivial activity and that too of finishing long pending cinema something like "Pi". Someone intimidated Spota when he was just about to watch "Requiem for the dream". The other fella had one verdict "why the hell did I watched that movie?" Worst enough he played "Summer overture" again and again, sending chills in sapota's heart. With these preconceived notions Sapota somehow commenced the journey, which took a halt at the end of first CD. Sapota sighed "oh! Gawd!" Sapota stopped "requiem", clicked on some bright animated movie, It was now 01:20 hrs, Sapota restarted it. Sapota turned blue with eyebrows raised in fear and sympathy. Sapota somehow finished "requiem" and to neutralized saw some bright sunny dumb flick yet again.
It was not disgust, it was rather the sensitivity that swayed sapota off the feet, Sapota is hardcore, but as sapota is getting more maturer, his reactions toward human emotions are becoming more and more articulate. There has been very few motion pictures, which have moved sapota to such an extent. Sapota can just go GAGA over Darren Afronsky for creating such a marvel, such a masterpiece of cinema. After Clockwork Orange this is the greatest work of a camera. One of the most exotically shot, and one of the most innovative editing. Darren Afrosnky has earned all points Sapota can give.
Lock Stock and two smoking barrels? what kind of name is that. Brought it, started it, for 15 minutes Sapota thought he has gone deaf or probably all that convent eduction has vanished. Then either sapota's ears got adapted or the accent had neutralized a bit, but now you actually listen the conversation, some of which is extremely intelligent, some wicked and some of it very witty. Sapota wondered what the heck?
So Sapota repeated the same story but this time with "Snatch", now again 15 minutes of muteness, worst enough you don't understand a single word from Gypsy boys. You keep wondering! except, some of the apparently clever ones, sapota could not anticipate anything, Sapota smiled and sometimes gwaffed. Sapota still didn't had enough.
Sapota knew this is too much to be assimilated in one go, there has to be multiple re-visits, but impatient one wanted more. Third movie on his List was "Revolver".
This time sapota was sure of what he is watching, GOOD Lord! this is the one sapota was looking for, the kind of cinema and direction. There was general verdict that this is a repeated work and few had hard time understanding it, some critics say its terse and unreadable, but Sapota begs to differ, movie is being very well presented, neatly narrated and the con plot is superb. The style of movie narration is not new or innovative, but Sapota would say most of those tricks and techniques have already been created by early cinema makers, these people have just reused them in better fashion. That day and this day, Guy Ritchie is on my favourite list. He is Madonna's husband! so! Being a husband of a pop star does not necessarily kill your brain cells, one can still do good. Why the fuck do Sapota cares if he fucks Britney spears, he is an intelligent cinema maker and he does it three times in a row.
There has been umpteen revisits at "snatch" and "Lock stock" by now, every time they tickle some muscle in abdomen. Its subtle humour is absolutely intelligent and it makes sapota roar with laughter, Nothing beat British sarcasm and no one has ever presented it in a better fashion than Guy Ritchie. Creating coherence in intrinsically complex movies like snatch, "Lock stock" and revolver, which have multi-track story line is work of pure brilliance, and then adding humour on top of it! Sapota is just amazed.
One fine day while searching movie in CD library, Sapota saw "The Fountain"; wondering whose movie is that? reads.... Hugh jackman, Rachel Weisz(drool...) and... Ellen Burtyn(that's interesting) and then Director: Darren Afrosnky. Sapota sometimes react very impulsively ,"I want this one, drop all others". Sapota have by now seen all sorts of metaphysical ones and all sorts of sci-fi's, but this one, had three track running simultaneously and except one all others were metaphors of thoughts, they were surreal and engrossing. Sapota kept guessing all the time? Sapota had to scratch his head a little, Couple of times intelligent cinema maker intentionally creates open ended visuals or stories. You can interpret it your own way and then story is so non linear(or shall I say hyperbolic.) that it never converges. With such a wonderful direction Afronsky has multiplied his respect 10 times.

One of the worst itches Sapota has suffered was inablity to obtain "Pi"? Everyone looked down upon sapota for this sin, but Sapota is such a determinate one, he finally obtained "Pi"(although after months of wait). Both these cinema makers have profound knowledge of art, the way they uses resources at disposal is amazing. if you hear the scores of Snatch, Lock stock and Revolver, you know that someone has quite some taste in rock, country, jazz and pop. Then on the other hand Afronsky is into classical, he uses Clint Mansell to compose for "Pi", all those weird robotronic music, with those really innovative camera angles and terse thematics, its a intoxicated ride of insanity, where some mathematician dwells into his obsession for numbers. Exotically black n white picture with stuff like vacuum tube computers, metro station, Go game and flying pigeons, that is something for which your visual receptors wont easily acclimatize. Afronsky doesn't use narrations much, his characters get developed as the story progresses, whereas Ritchie uses narrations, couple of time dubious, other time subtly, other time exaggerated, but with a style, strictly of his own and you love them. Every one loves Bullet tooth Tony and Harry Lonsdale, isn't it?

Saturday evening roaming all alone near box office, Sapota can smell his own movies. So while sapota was not sure, but had some impression of "rock n rolla" in back of his mind. So as soon as the initial credits started rolling, in a wink sapota guessed Mr Ritchie's Movie!! Sapota must confess, its not as great as any of the previous ones, but it ha been long since sapota saw an intelligent con movie. So the fun came with exotic picture frames and British accent thrown in style. This time very little narrative, all characters getting developed all along themselves. My award for best one goes to mr rock n rolla(Johnny Quid), he is central one, but not exactly. As with Ritchie movies, he does not starts from the beginning, but eventually becomes important. The depiction gets more and more complex with burst of random irony, which makes u grab your seat, wondering, "why don't this get delayed by a minute", but Ritchie knows how to get that adrenaline rush. Not as funny as usual, but it has its own wise cracks, and there must be many hidden ones, which can be discovered with hard finding only(read second watch).

It looks like there is a lack of mass awareness that what kind of cinema maker Mr Afronsky really is, which seems one reason for so much fuss about "The wrestler". This is definitely not the best work of Mr Afronsky, but yes a popular one . At beginning it doesn't appeared much like Mr Afronsky's baby, but as it progresses, you would realize what is he spinning. He wont comfort the character in any manner, he is not encashing his spirit, he just letting him go on and on. Full marks for the Plot, and this time he has used good old school rock n roll for the scores, pretty apt for such a movie. The camera at times gives you hint that it is him, but not purely him, screenplay is satisfactory, not Afronsky style. But the way the character develops, gives a feel of psyche of a wrestler. All event in movie appear trivial, but they created a profound impact on sapota.

These two contemporaries may not be crowd magnets, but they have their own cult following. Sapota is a fan of both of them. Sapota is not sure what status they acquire in coming times, but their cinema is unique and movies like "Pi", will make it to cinema schools. Any Cinema maker without artistic elevation is bland, artistic interpretation makes it look real and it creates a charm of its own. These two are profound intellectuals, one is the master of Con cinema, other master of science parables. Both use indirect communication, as if talking in verses, using metaphors instead of speech. Sapota believes, selecting an appropriate OST is like finding needle in haystack, until unless one has a real feel of cinema and music simultaneously one will land with trash. But the impressive work by these two gentlemen speaks otherwise, it looks like it has been easy, but sapota knows it a bloody daunting task. The other part of their great vision lies in the fact they create enormously thematic backdrops, which exhibit reality and speak of the creative artistry they possess.

I, sometimes, shutdown my PC

I was taken aback?
why?
she asked me, don't you have instinct?
so...
that's like asking me if I listen to Metallica.
So what do you say?
I just tell her that I will write back.
about instincts?
yes, My instincts tell me not to talk about them?
then, why are you?
I donno, this is also instinctive action.

Other day, I asked someone, dude you are talented, how do you keep upto it?
he told me, his instincts help him.
the other case where instinct play vital role, is with respect to tiger, he pushes them to the limit.
So what's the harm?
Instinct cannot be logically explained, I can feel it, I can smell things, i am gifted with it. I have inherited it.
in that case i don't see any problem?
there are no problems, I would rather use other talents than to push myself to use instinct, I rather use them as survival weapon and find it is best suited for it.
I have instincts too,
not, in the way I understand, as I said I can smell it, who had that kind of feel.
hows that?
I mean when you meet people your own kind, for example tiger, you know it.
So what will that lead you to?
Actually nothing, just this post and asking people to talk about
what are their intellectual verbalization about their own instincts?

Naka, Zona religiousa etcetra etcetra

Sapota had attended many hindu marriages, but this was first time sapota was experiencing a sikh wedding. Sapota hate attending marriages, but this one was of a very very dear friend, so Sapota went all the way to Balachaur with all excitement and enthusiasm.
On the way to Balachaur, Sapota purchased JUTIs at Chandigarh. Now there is only one man, who can wear such Jutis and that is Sapota himself(Hah!).

From Rajjo's Marriage

Sapota had recieved a very warm welcome at balachaur in a real punjabi village called as Thopia(looks like heard somewhere).
Among many antics to be noticed, the prominent ones were buffaloes and fodder slicing machine and earthen stoves. These things are rarely visible to sapota, these days. One of the fella(read Bison) tried posing with buffaloes for photograph, but buffaloes were reluctanct, they dont want to pose with a Bison.



The following day started with engagement ceremony. Ceremony's biggest attraction was "Bhangra Junction", which was a bhangra group containing hawt hawt punjabi kudiyan(chics). In all this high temprature sound and thump, Sapota was thrown on the floor(dance floor, fools!). The no-good-dancer danced between punjabis, who by the virtue of being who they are, dance very bloody well.
Other folks joined us in the late afternoon, and then all those discussions... this time business fundas, I mean all those lame ass management shit, and everyone preached them as if they are some top grade B-school Professors. Later Brides' folk arrived to perform ceremonial rituals and the groom was loaded with all sorts of gifts and golds and $$$$(Dallaran, lol).
Next day early the barat set forth to Ropar. Rituals in Sikh marriages are performed at Gurudwaras in the day time. Day time marriage at this quarter of year and in this part of world is not actually very pleasant.
On arrival there, we were greeted by a Sikh priest, who recited some sort of chants. Then as the barat followed, we danced in the bloody sunlight in the outdoors, drenched literally! Something interesting followed next known as "saaliyon ka naka" transliterated as barriers of/by Sister-in-laws(sounds so absurd in this language). To get entry in the marriage hall, the groom has to pay the bribe(or shall it be a "shagun", sapota likes bribe more!) to cross that ribbon on naka thing.
Hall was beautiful and food was upto mark and as we settled down, "bhangra party" started dancing, so again we have to dance, this time with girls from brides side. After dancing and all, we all proceeded to Gurudwara for the actual rituals. Sapota loves Gurudwaras and Churches becuase they are quiet and serene, like a real abode of god. This was a big beautiful Gurudwara with a river flowing near by. And you know how much sapota fancies rivers. So as sapota went inside, he went into "zona religiousa"(yes there is no such word). As they were performing rituals and sapota sat down in peace with himself.

After this ceremony sister-in-law were asking for shagun, Again! I mean this time for Grooms shoes. They steal the shoe and then they ask for money as much as INR 5k, this is no way correct, but then all is fair in marriages. Ok, sapota missed talking about the groom , the groom wore a full fledged turban and the sikh attire and looked like a real "Sardar".

After completions of nuptials, photo shoots followed, which led to chit chat and cracking jokes . The newer and interesting thing was ball dance. Yes, Groom and Bride danced together, which was a surprise element for many. But it was kool, Sapota missed the dance, he has to later catch it up on the video. Overall wedding was fun, but a sweaty fun, phew!